I am Screaming for Ice Cream!

The Local Scoop is this new ice cream shop(pe?) that is tucked away a few block from me, hidden in my little neighborhood. I have been waiting for that perfect lazy day to visit and get a delicious frozen treat and felt like yesterday was that day. I have been feeling slightly under the weather, so I took it easy over the holiday weekend and this was going to be my excitement - I am a wild one, you know!

I ride my bike the 4-ish blocks to The Local Scoop and as I am pulling up, I notice that they don't have the "We Accept M/C, Visa" sticker on the door. Oh Snap! My heart sinks and I talk myself down - "It's probably just that they haven't received the sticker in the mail, yet.", I say to myself as I open the door. I mean, give me a break! I don't carry cash at all, and most definitely when I ride my bike. If I get mugged, I can call and have my card canceled before that low-life thief gets at my account - instead of giving them a $20 bill that will be used to buy booze or crack. I am sure that most people in my neighborhood are of a similar mindset.

When I walk inside I notice 3 things:

1. There is a twenty-something guy sitting on the window sill in an ugly t-shirt
2. There are a few other same-aged guys standing in a little huddle around the sill-dweller
3. No one seems to be doing squat or giving a shit about the fact that a customer is walking in

They are all looking at me like I just broke up their private party - whatever, I am here, so I bite and say, "hi, do you guys take credit cards?" Tie-dye says, "No, cash only" to which I reply, "are you planning on taking them in the future?" and he says, "I don't know". That response is the one thing at that moment, that makes me want to smack him in the face with serious follow-through and then spin with my arm firmly held out from my body with my palm perpendicular to the floor as I make contact with every one of those guys' cheeks. But, instead of getting arrested for assault, I just walk out and pout all the way home.

Effff!! I had such high hopes for The Local Scoop. Yeah, I had never even been in there, but I had been fantasizing about how this place could be a cool little hang out for the people in our 'hood and maybe all of us older kids would have a place to walk to in the summer that wasn't on Main. The only other ice cream place in the area that I somewhat like is across a busy road and has the DUMBEST staff of Brittneys, Kelseys and Bryces that one place could ever be so fortunate to compile. It also has too many choices and flavors that seem to be there only to confuse and complicate matters. Hmmm...Maybe that's why the staff seems so dense.

If I miraculously come into some money, I will open a full-service desert place that serves good ice cream, cookies, cupcakes & penny candy, has inside & outside seating and accepts CREDIT CARDS.

Who carries cash anymore besides the valet and the exotic dancer at your local gentleman's club? Your grandma? Yeah, she doesn't count.

Workin' It

I hate working out, but I will say that I feel good today and I have done exactly what my program says to do.

My abs hurt a little though - but that means it's working, right? Or does it mean I am doing it wrong?

My goal is to look HOT! (duh) My realistic goal is to get the 30 lbs off by the end of July, so let's hope that my insane "flu week" purchase is what will get me to my goal(s).

I am thinking I would like to be able to look awesome in a Brazilian-cut bikini...on the beach in Brazil.

Click HERE for some Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch to get you in the mood to workout. "Marky" Mark Whalberg has been making me want to "work out" since I was in 9th grade - I had that no-shirt poster in my room. Awwwww Yeeeeeaaaah!

Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Video sent by Stella78

Good Vibrations

When you have the flu...

you:

a. Freak out and beg your doctor not to make you take the H1N1 test
b. Buy insane workout programs on the internet
c. Become obsessed with the possibility that the Catholic Church has been covering up the fact
that Jesus did not die on the cross
d. All of the above





Answer: d. Amanda Hug'NKiss had the flu last week and went bezerk, almost poked her eyes out with boredom and became a better person, all at the same time

I Shop at ALDI (and Trader Joe's)

Yep. I do. Every week - sometimes it's every two, if I have a lot of social things I do that involve meals on any given week.

I laugh at the names of the ALDI store brands (like Friendly Farms Dairy and Choceur Chocolate) but the food really is good. You know what else I am laughing at? YOU, if you happen to not shop there. Wanna know why? Because you are wasting money on products that cost more for the same or lower quality than ALDI brand products. FOOLS! Ha ha!

I don't want to hear anyone bitching about the fact that you have to pay a quarter to get a cart. You don't PAY anything - you deposit a quarter to release a cart and you get the deposit back when your cart is returned to the same place. This reminds me of putting your dishes in the sink after a meal or picking up your dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper. Basically, I appreciate the availability of parking spots, because carts are never in them. I also like the fact that my car can't get dinged by a cart that's not there. Try to find a cartless lot at any Kroger or Target in Michigan - I dare you to take a picture of the entire lot and send it to me. I will buy you an awesome bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil* if you can truly prove that the whole lot was empty of carts.

The cart deposit system is only one way they save money on labor hours - the other is bagging your own groceries with your own bags. I love this! You can double-up on the cheap-o plastic handle bags, but they will be from your under-the-sink collection. They do provide their empty product boxes to pack your purchase in for free (subject to availability) and they sell paper bags for 5 cents and high-quality large plastic bags (which I believe are made from recycled plastic) for 10 cents each - but most people bring their own. I use my HUGE blue IKEA bags and can usually get all of my purchases in one of them, with room to spare. Imagine the amount of overhead expense they are saving! They don't have to provide anything at the checkout, except a cashier. Please read this sentence if you are about to crab about bagging your own stuff: I suggest you take a mental pause to get over yourself - you should be bringing your own bags to the store when you shop and if you don't, your penalty is that you have to pay. I want my nephew to be able to live in a world where his playgrounds and schools aren't built on top of landfills.

Did you know that ALDI USA is owned by the same people that own Trader Joe's? Ooo, Trader Joooooooe's- that other grocery store you won't go to because you don't understand how they don't carry Kraft or Frito Lay products. You are right, they don't carry those brand names. They actually carry a far superior product line, many hard to find imports and gourmet items that you cannot find anywhere else for anything near the low price. ALDI gets some of these same items once in a while, because of the connection, and they are even less expensive there.

Again, pause - take a moment and think about what you are paying for when you scramble all over the store to find Hidden Valley Ranch. It's salad dressing, make it at home, it tastes 1-million times better and is 1-million times less expensive.

Now, excuse me - I have to wash my hands and make myself stuffed tilapia (frozen, pre-stuffed) with steamed baby carrots and a spinach salad...all ingredients bought at ALDI for less than $10 total.

*You can pick Trader Joe's or ALDI - neither is over $5 a bottle and it's waaaaaay better than that crap Bertolli makes.

Mmmm - Garlic...

So, springing me out of my doldrums was 20 Clove Garlic Chicken and a night of Trivial Pursuit last night. We inhaled the BEST Crock Pot recipe ever and cracked ourselves up until almost 2am.

It was just what I needed.

Oh! and the surprise flowers. That was lovely. For anyone who might care, I love flowers - roses, lilies, gerberas, peonies - basically anything girly and lovely-looking. No carnations, though. This one got it right on the money, HUGE blush roses in a cute vase. Grin-worthy and much-appreciated.

Say It Isn't So

Well, yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in a long time. I had to force myself to make a decision that I really was putting off and in turn regret it, even though I shouldn't.

Now, I know what you are thinking - "what the hell is her problem? Poor Hug'NKiss, Wah wah wah!" But, I am not looking for pity. Trust me, I don't even really think I deserve it. But man, am I SAD. On the verge of tears when it's completely inappropriate to be that way. I have even brought other people down with me - and regret that, too. Who the hell wants to be that person, right? It sucks to be sad about so many things at the same time.

I bet you are all clicking on your browser address bar and scrolling to Facebook right now, aren't you? That's okay. I feel like this post might be more for me to just get this stuff out there. Maybe someone will have some wise words. But, it's okay if you don't.

This year really started off terribly and has been nothing but a long string of pretty shitty dramatic events that I seem to be a main character in. I am not sure if this is what they say is a "phase" or a cycle that will stop spinning at some point, but something has got to give, eventually. I hope, at least.

Love in all forms has been slipping through my fingers. Family, friendships, romance and even love of my pet. I mean, can there be no end to this chain? Why now? Why all in such a short time? I hope that I am not going to end up alone. I am the worst at being alone with myself. It's fairly torturous for me, to be honest.

I have always felt like people that I thought were important and that I loved and cared for, probably didn't feel that strongly about me and didn't put me in a level of importance in their lives. Honestly, I have felt like I am probably considered a terrible person by a lot of the ones closest to me. Why? Because I am not sweet - or conventionally pretty. Let's be honest, I have a loud mouth, like to swear, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, people watch and judge by appearance (even though I really have no room to talk), joke too much, intimidate people, talk out of turn and basically can choose to be the biggest bitch you know, if I think you deserve that side of me. What's to like if that's the HNK you are familiar with? Now, I hide a lot of those things at different times, so people hang out with me, sometimes like me and love me for brief moments, but they all seem to fade away. Maybe there isn't anyone that really like anyone else just the way they are - the good and bad. But, I just can't believe that, because I like a lot of people for who they are and would never want them to change. Why should I have to change?

I am truly fearful of becoming my mother's daughter - but maybe I should really try harder not to be like her. Through the years, I have watched people just slip away from her. They choose to exit from her life because of how she acts and I pray that I am not going to be that way.

I am sure it's just because I am sad that I feel like this. But if, on the day I die, I just die, that will really mean I never lived enough for people to want to live with me.

Bug Blog

So, someone I work with has enjoyed making fun of me about my fear of bugs that you can't see. He suggested I start a blog dedicated to bugs and name it...wait for it...Bug Blog. Too bad the name is already taken. Bummer.

What my fear of bugs has been amplified by: The creepy news segments about the resurgence of the bed bug epidemic that have been on all of the news channels are freaking me out! They are making me itch and check my bed 3-4 times a night!

What is with this bed bug thing? How did they come back? I thought that was something that was long gone from the civilized world. It is really not cool that a bug that was obliterated from our country in the 50s is now back and impossible to kill. I can't live like this! I read that they will hide behind picture frames above your bed, behind or in the corners of headboards, and on the underside of your mattress. They wait until you go to sleep and then gather together and work their way down a vein, sucking your blood the whole time. Even better, is the fact that once they start feeding on one person, they will not switch to another "host".

What the HECK? And if I ever get them in my house, I can't get rid of them? This is totally disgusting.

But, I have to cut this post short - I am bawling my eyes out because I just caught Boris shredding the arm of my vintage Eames chair with his talon-like cat nails. When I got near him, he sliced my thumb and palm open. I don't really care about that as much as I do about the fact that this gorgeous chair that used to belong to my great-grandparents is completely ruined. This cat is gone tomorrow morning. I have had enough.